« First‹12Rudy: You need to provide the laser light technician, correct I AINT GOT A LASER TECHNICIAN BUT DAN TANNER SELLS RED DOT SIGHTS AT HIS STORE MAYBE HE KNOWS It's not like laser pointers. We use software and you operate all of the light show through a laptop computer. WELL THATS EASY WE ALL GOT WEBSITES AND BLOGS AND WHATNOT. I EVEN MADE A DOOM WAD ONCE BACK IN THE DAY It's a little bit more complicated than that OH REALLY? YOU EVER OPEN UP A DOOM WAD AND TRY TO PUT IN MAGIC JOHNSON FOR AN IMP AND MAKE HIM THROW AIDS BASKETBALLS? No RUNNING A LASER PROGRAM CANT BE NO HARDER THAN TURNING A CACODAEMON BROWN AND GIVING IT A BIG NOSE Okay, well, we can provide a little training on the software when you rent the equipment. Is that basic package where you wanted to start? YEAH I GUESS IF LASERS COST LIKE A MILLION DOLLARS TO DO A SINGLE STINKING SHOW LETS START AT THE BOTTOM SO YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS IN BIG LASER CAN TAKE OUR MONEY We are competitively priced. YEAH I BET ANYWAY YOU JUST GO ON ABOUT THE LASERS The basic package includes your choice of pre-included graphics.

We have packages for generic events or you can put a program together yourself from the graphics we have on hand. Is this a birthday? APRIL 20 MOST IMPORTANT BIRTHDAY IN THE WORLD Alrighty, well we've got a selection of birthday graphics. Cakes, balloons, that sort of thing, and you can enter text in and it will do what you want. TELL ME IF THIS WILL WORK Ok... I WANT A WINDOW WITH ONE OF THOSE SIX SIDED STARS ON IT AND I WANT IT IN BLUE LASERS AND THEN I WANT A RED LASER FIST TO COME IN AND BREAK THE WINDOW We could do that, but it would be considered a custom animation YOU GOT A BLACK LASER? No, red, blue, and green BROWN? Nope, sorry OKAY HOW ABOUT THIS TAKE THE BLUE LASER AND THAT CAN BE THE BROWN LASER AND HAVE A BLUE MAN WALK ON AND START GRABBING THE BOOBS OF A GREEN WOMAN AND THEN A RED MAN COMES IN AND KNOCKS THE BLUE MAN DOWN AND HOLDS UP A SHIELD TO PROTECT THE GREEN WOMAN That's probably more than we can do with a single animation, but we might be able to work something out OKAY GREAT HOW ABOUT TEUTONIC RUNES YOU GOT THOSE IN THE COMPUTER?

I don't think so. I'm not sure what that is but you can check. OKAY WELL IF NOT IT NEEDS TO SPELL OUT A MESSAGE THAT CATCHES ON FIRE We can definitely do that, we have fire lettering YES FIRE LETTERING PERFECT OKAY IT SHOULD SPELL OUT H-A-P-P-Y Happy SS_HH: B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y Happy Birthday RIGHT, YOU GOT AN OOMLAUT? THOSE LITTLE DOTS OVER LETTERS I don't think so ALRIGHT THEN F-U-E-H-R-E-R Happy Birthday Fuehrer RIGHT THAT'S THE FIRST LINE AND THEN I HAVE A CUSTOM PICTURE AND THEN UNDERNEATH THAT A-D-O-L-F Adolf Hitler are you serious? ASS CRYSTALNACHT MY ARYAN BROTHER Thanks for wasting my time you racist asshole YOU ARE AN ALL WHITE BUSINESS RIGHT? – « First‹12 Previous More Pranks [ICQ] Next About This ColumnOur Something Awful ICQ pranks target the worst and most idiotic folks on the Internet. Believe it or not, these ICQ pranks are all - unfortunately - real.Previous ArticlesMoreSuggested ArticlesWhat's HotTotal RealityInterview with a Former Porn StarExotic Mail Order Husbands@dril's Greatest HitsWorkplace Toilet Stories!

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Laser light shows have a long history at the science center, where for years fans have flocked to see laser graphics move to classic rock songs. And while technologies evolve and audience interests change, the shows are still among the center's most popular events. Every Friday and Saturday night through Aug. 19, the CineDome will be transformed into a retina-rocking music venue that combines 28,000 watts of stereo sound with laser effects lighting up an 8,000-square-foot concave screen that rises up and over the audience. The four laser shows — "Laser Beatles," "Laser Vinyl," "Laser Led Zeppelin" and "Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon" — run about 40 minutes each. This week, Ethan Dutcher, chief projectionist at the center, and a crew from Audio Visual Imagineering, an Orlando laser company, mounted a full-color laser projector in the middle of the CineDome, placed two green-beam lasers near the screen and installed a haze machine, which produces a kind of mist. One technician, Mark Zellers, has been in the laser business for more than 20 years and has watched lasers evolve from bulky to compact.

Years ago, a laser light show needed large, heavy equipment, Zeller said. Projectors weighed more than 80 pounds, and the power it took to run them could light up "three or four households." Today's projectors weigh half as much, and most plug into the wall. "Now they are very green — and not just in color," Zellers said. They're also much easier to operate. All of the information that controls the lights, sounds and haze for each laser show is stored on a hard drive. Once switched on, the show runs itself. Brian Adams is the creative director at Audio Visual Imagineering, and it's his job to make laser light shows come to life. An 11-year laser veteran, Adams helped create the Led Zeppelin show playing at the science center. In designing a show, Adams said, he first listens to a song and takes notes about what could work on the screen. "You try to interpret graphically what the music sounds like," Adams said. For example, during an instrumental part of a classic rock or techno song, which Adams calls "laser-friendly music," it's best to splash the screen with abstract images.

Sometimes a more literal graphic is needed, such as a picture of a hammer when Robert Plant sings "The hammer of the gods will drive our ships to new lands" in "Immigrant Song." All laser images are a single beam of light, Adams said, but the beam moves so quickly that the eye sees it as a picture. Laser light shows in Orlando date back to 1979. For almost 20 years, the "Cosmic Concert," as the show was once known, drew music fans to the John Young Planetarium, which is now part of the Orlando Shakespeare Theater. Using video-game-like animations, the audiovisual experience took viewers on an adventure through rock and pop. Through the years, the shows became a tradition, matching lasers with the music of U2, No Doubt, R.E.M., Prodigy, Stone Temple Pilots, Nine Inch Nails, Ministry andNew Kids on the Block. Because of changing technologies, the science center pulled the plug on the laser shows in 1998. After numerous requests, they returned in 2006, and the science center has made them an annual event.

The shows attract a "really interesting, diverse audience," said Jeff Stanford of the science center staff. Families, teenagers, headbangers and former headbangers now in their 40s and 50s can sit side by side and share in the musical trip. "There's this nostalgic buzz you get off the shows," Stanford said."The appeal is not about the technology. or 407-420-6226 Laser light shows Where: Orlando Science Center, 777 E. Princeton St. When: Fridays and Saturdays through Aug. 19. 7 p.m.: "Laser Beatles." 8 p.m.: "Laser Vinyl," featuring Queen, Van Halen, Aerosmith and Kansas. 9 p.m.: "Laser Zeppelin." 10 p.m.: "Laser Pink Floyd: Dark Side of the Moon" (to be replaced by "The Wall" in August). All shows are rated PG-13 except "Laser Beatles," which is PG. Tickets: $13 adults, $8 children ages 3 to 11. Admission is good for one show plus entry to the new exhibit "Guitar: The Instrument That Rocked the World." Lottery results for Powerball, Florida LottoLottery results for Powerball, Florida LottoDo your homework before painting or sealing cool deckPuerto Rico birth certificates: How to get a new oneLottery results for Powerball, Florida LottoLottery results for Powerball, Florida Lotto